my whole world!!!!
Sunday, March 30, 2014
the library
I remember one of the days in December when we sat inside and played Super Mario Bros. We even tried sharing a remote once, which failed horribly and ended up with Mario running off a cliff. Even though we weren't doing anything too special, I felt like the happiest girl in the world in that moment, snuggled up to you on the couch and laughing at how bad we were at the game. Eventually, we got bored and decided to get out of the house. You drove me to the 7-11 at the mouth of the canyon where we got hot chocolate. Remember how many cops there were in that gas station? We felt so paranoid in there. And I think one even commented on how much creamer we put into our hot chocolates... you paid, and we got back in the car. While driving back to my grandma's house, you turned into the parking lot of the library. "I used to come here as a little kid," you told me with the biggest smile on your face. "I know it's kind of weird, but can we just go in there? I wanna see if it's still the same inside." Of course, I agreed, and you practically ran inside. You were so excited. You kept smiling every time you'd turn around, and you found all these books you had loved to read as a kid -- I loved that side of you. I loved seeing you in that moment, and hearing more about your past. I loved how passionate you were when you showed me your favorite books, and how we spent fifteen minutes searching (ironically) for the I Spy books. You let me walk around and take in all the books. You even listened to me as I rambled on and on about how in love with books I was -- I remember you would lean over and kiss me in the middle of my sentences. You let me wander through that whole library, and you never let go of my hand the entire time. I can't wait until I get to hold your hand every time I go to the library. I'm excited to stay up late reading books with you and maybe even checking out the I Spy books every once in a while. I'm just grateful that I have you, and that you're as big of a child on the inside as I am. Never let that part of you go -- I love that about you.
Thursday, March 27, 2014
smile
Today, I found out I had won a national essay competition!! I was surprised, because my writing wasn't anything special, but I'm feeling so overwhelmed and extremely blessed to have been published!! :) Here it is. :)
I fell in love with people today. I fell in love with the way a person's eyes light up and their lips curl into a smile when they're speaking passionately about something. There was something lovely about the way the busy businessman stopped to wave and grin at me despite the moving city around us. Smiles seemed to be all over this morning — I was flattered when an elderly woman in the juice shop complimented my smile, and I wore it for the rest of the day.
The world can be portrayed as such a vile and corrupt place. However, one does not as often remember all the joyous things there are to balance out the wicked. Sure, our planet can be a place of degrading and destruction. Sometimes it's hard to distinguish what's right and what's wrong, to find the line between good and evil. But today, oh today! Today I found that line; it is the line of a smile, the gentle crescent on a human face. A simple smile can change so much — it can make the grouchy man tender, the new girl feel accepted, and the mourning feel a little less alone. The line of a smile is a remarkable thing; it can change a moment from sad to satisfying. So, dear reader, I challenge you today to wear a smile. If you had the power to change someone's day, would you? See what difference it makes for the people around you — but more importantly, you.
The world can be portrayed as such a vile and corrupt place. However, one does not as often remember all the joyous things there are to balance out the wicked. Sure, our planet can be a place of degrading and destruction. Sometimes it's hard to distinguish what's right and what's wrong, to find the line between good and evil. But today, oh today! Today I found that line; it is the line of a smile, the gentle crescent on a human face. A simple smile can change so much — it can make the grouchy man tender, the new girl feel accepted, and the mourning feel a little less alone. The line of a smile is a remarkable thing; it can change a moment from sad to satisfying. So, dear reader, I challenge you today to wear a smile. If you had the power to change someone's day, would you? See what difference it makes for the people around you — but more importantly, you.
Mckensie Sims, Grade 12
Mililani High School, HI
Sunday, March 23, 2014
Speed Bumps
When you send your love off for two years, you are going to be challenged. You will be tested, stretched, and endure trials you never knew you could endure. I call these "speed bumps." And yes, you will encounter many of them.
Here's some helpful reminders (according to Kensie):
Here's some helpful reminders (according to Kensie):
1) No matter what, never lose hope.
There are going to be days where you don't want to go on -- days where two years is just too long. Some nights, all your friends will be out with their boyfriends, and you would kill to just be able to talk to your man on the phone. Just keep in mind that in a few years, you'll be getting hitched and all your friends will be super jealous of you. It's so close.
2) Don't ever ever ever get jealous.
If you know he's for you, don't question it. Because maybe, just maybe, some nights you will miss him so much, you Facebook stalk him and find all of his old prom pictures with different girls and you'll start to get oober jealous and sad. BUT DON'T YOU EVER DO THAT BECAUSE IF YOU KNOW YOU ARE MEANT FOR EACH OTHER, YOU ARE. Don't let the past interfere with how you feel now.
3) Write your feelings down.
It might seem silly, or even a little cliche. I know that keeping a blog seemed really stupid to me until I actually tried it. Writing down your feelings is so liberating -- it is such a release. And the best part about it? You're documenting your journey, so that in the future you can look back on this time and realized how much you grew.
4) Allow yourself to cry.
No, you're not being stupid. You are human, you have a lot of feelings, and your best friend is halfway across the world for a couple of years. Sometimes, that's going to make you cry. But most of the time, it'll be tears of joy. :) Allow yourself to feel what you are going to feel, and don't try and bottle up your emotions. Trust me, it's miserable.
5) Break it down -- never look at the whole two years.
This helps SO much. Do not count the days... I started off that way, and time basically stood still. I go by P-days. Every P-day is another week down :) and P-days always come around so fast. When you're going week by week, it speeds things up so much! But no matter what, don't look at it as the two whole years. It's just like running. A friend once told me to never look at the entire run; make small goals during your run. Make it to this tree, then keep going until you reach that fire hydrant, and so on and so on. But the most important thing I learned from that friend was to never look farther than halfway. If you look at the whole thing, you'll get overwhelmed and want to give up; when you make smaller goals, and work toward those, time will move faster than you could imagine.
6) Keep your friends close, but the Lord closer.
Friends are super awesome for when you want to turn on a chick flick and demolish a gallon of cookie dough ice cream. However, even when friends aren't around, our Savior is. Never forget that you are never alone, not in any trial, ever. He knows what you're going through. In fact, he knows every detail of your situation -- He's experiencing it with you. The Lord will never leave us as long as we turn to Him. Allow yourself to trust in Him and in His timing, and He will comfort you in ways you never imagined possible.
Well, that's all I have for tonight. OH, and I definitely didn't stalk Jake's Facebook page or have a High School Musical Marathon today. Or eat a molten lava cake from Chili's. (Don't judge me.) Anywho, P-day is tomorrow, I'm so excited! Another week down for me :) happy waiting!
P.S. This may or may not be one of Jake's pictures from his Facebook. Hahahaha. I miss him.
It might seem silly, or even a little cliche. I know that keeping a blog seemed really stupid to me until I actually tried it. Writing down your feelings is so liberating -- it is such a release. And the best part about it? You're documenting your journey, so that in the future you can look back on this time and realized how much you grew.
4) Allow yourself to cry.
No, you're not being stupid. You are human, you have a lot of feelings, and your best friend is halfway across the world for a couple of years. Sometimes, that's going to make you cry. But most of the time, it'll be tears of joy. :) Allow yourself to feel what you are going to feel, and don't try and bottle up your emotions. Trust me, it's miserable.
5) Break it down -- never look at the whole two years.
This helps SO much. Do not count the days... I started off that way, and time basically stood still. I go by P-days. Every P-day is another week down :) and P-days always come around so fast. When you're going week by week, it speeds things up so much! But no matter what, don't look at it as the two whole years. It's just like running. A friend once told me to never look at the entire run; make small goals during your run. Make it to this tree, then keep going until you reach that fire hydrant, and so on and so on. But the most important thing I learned from that friend was to never look farther than halfway. If you look at the whole thing, you'll get overwhelmed and want to give up; when you make smaller goals, and work toward those, time will move faster than you could imagine.
6) Keep your friends close, but the Lord closer.
Friends are super awesome for when you want to turn on a chick flick and demolish a gallon of cookie dough ice cream. However, even when friends aren't around, our Savior is. Never forget that you are never alone, not in any trial, ever. He knows what you're going through. In fact, he knows every detail of your situation -- He's experiencing it with you. The Lord will never leave us as long as we turn to Him. Allow yourself to trust in Him and in His timing, and He will comfort you in ways you never imagined possible.
Well, that's all I have for tonight. OH, and I definitely didn't stalk Jake's Facebook page or have a High School Musical Marathon today. Or eat a molten lava cake from Chili's. (Don't judge me.) Anywho, P-day is tomorrow, I'm so excited! Another week down for me :) happy waiting!
P.S. This may or may not be one of Jake's pictures from his Facebook. Hahahaha. I miss him.
Thursday, March 13, 2014
Goodbyes.
When I went to visit Jake in October, I only stayed for four days. The Monday when I left was the hardest goodbye I've ever had to say. But why?
Well, picture this. A cold October morning, Jake comes to pick me up from my grandma's house. We spent the whole day longboarding around his neighborhood and raking up leaves and jumping in the piles. We made pumpkin cookies and went grocery shopping and played guitar. He put on a scary movie just so I would snuggle up close to him and he would kiss me so I didn't have to watch the scary parts. He braided my hair, and we held hands everywhere we went. After six months of only talking on the phone, it felt so good to finally be by his side -- how in the world was I supposed to leave him?
Our goodbye was heartbreaking. We both cried, it was dramatic, he kissed me goodbye and I watched him leave. It was so hard for me, even though I knew I would see him again at Christmas. Why was it so hard to be away from him?
Christmas eventually rolled around, and I was back in his arms before I knew it. This time, we got to spend ten whole days together. We were both dreading the goodbye -- this one would be for the next two years.
Needless to say, the days went by way too quick. We went snowboarding and longboarded wherever it was dry. We made more cookies and had a food fight and kissed and danced. Every second I spent with him, I felt complete. It was the best ten days of my life. I fell more in love with everything about him, all his imperfect perfection. He is definitely my favorite human being.
The last night I was with him, we put on a movie and he held me tight. I don't even remember what movie we watched -- we talked the entire time. He told me repeatedly how much he loved me. He brushed out my tangled hair with his fingers, and braided it. I remember just feeling so lucky to be his, and so excited to be with him forever. At the end of the night, I walked him out to his car. He hugged me for what felt like an hour, kissed me, and said, "See you in two years, my princess." And he left.
After that, we got to talk on the phone for a month, but eventually he had to leave on his mission. So once again, we were faced with the obstacle of a goodbye. When we were on the phone for the last time, I had the most wonderful thought. "You're not leaving," I said. "You'll always be here, just in a different way." And he is. He's in every song, every happy thought, and every prayer. His letters sound like he never left... he's the same old goofball, just wearing a suit and tie. In one of the letters he wrote me, he said this:
"I'll often receive guidance and answers to prayers in the very scripture I read. The cool part? The answers are YOU. I can't stop finding you in my patriarchal blessing, scriptures that once had absolutely no meaning to me, it's you :). I'm so indescribably happy that I was blessed with you... I LOVE YOU MCKENSIE. We were made for each other since before time began. I'm so happy you're mine and that i'm yours and that I get to spend my life and my eternity with you."
In a way, we're still with each other. He's always on my mind, and I know i'm on his too. I've finally figured out why the last goodbye was so easy: this is the last one. This is the final stretch, the last two years I'll ever have to be away from him. :) Heavenly Father has blessed both of us so much because we're spending this time away from each other. I've had angels sent to comfort me, I have no doubt about that. I am so blessed to have my sweet Jake, and I'm so grateful that he chose to serve a mission. Heavenly Father is teaching me so much about his love through Jake. I'll forever be grateful for that boy. :)
Side note:
If anyone is ever contemplating serving a mission because of a boyfriend or girlfriend, GO. I promise you, it's worth it. The blessings you'll receive because of it are incredible. You'll both have trials, but you'll be able to get through them together. Don't be discouraged about leaving someone behind -- it's only two years. It may seem long, but it's the Lord's timing, and if we choose to trust in it, he will bless us beyond measure. And from my experience so far, it's going pretty dang fast. Go on a mission. Trust in the Lord's timing, because He ALWAYS knows what's best for us. :)
Well, picture this. A cold October morning, Jake comes to pick me up from my grandma's house. We spent the whole day longboarding around his neighborhood and raking up leaves and jumping in the piles. We made pumpkin cookies and went grocery shopping and played guitar. He put on a scary movie just so I would snuggle up close to him and he would kiss me so I didn't have to watch the scary parts. He braided my hair, and we held hands everywhere we went. After six months of only talking on the phone, it felt so good to finally be by his side -- how in the world was I supposed to leave him?
Our goodbye was heartbreaking. We both cried, it was dramatic, he kissed me goodbye and I watched him leave. It was so hard for me, even though I knew I would see him again at Christmas. Why was it so hard to be away from him?
Christmas eventually rolled around, and I was back in his arms before I knew it. This time, we got to spend ten whole days together. We were both dreading the goodbye -- this one would be for the next two years.
Needless to say, the days went by way too quick. We went snowboarding and longboarded wherever it was dry. We made more cookies and had a food fight and kissed and danced. Every second I spent with him, I felt complete. It was the best ten days of my life. I fell more in love with everything about him, all his imperfect perfection. He is definitely my favorite human being.
The last night I was with him, we put on a movie and he held me tight. I don't even remember what movie we watched -- we talked the entire time. He told me repeatedly how much he loved me. He brushed out my tangled hair with his fingers, and braided it. I remember just feeling so lucky to be his, and so excited to be with him forever. At the end of the night, I walked him out to his car. He hugged me for what felt like an hour, kissed me, and said, "See you in two years, my princess." And he left.
After that, we got to talk on the phone for a month, but eventually he had to leave on his mission. So once again, we were faced with the obstacle of a goodbye. When we were on the phone for the last time, I had the most wonderful thought. "You're not leaving," I said. "You'll always be here, just in a different way." And he is. He's in every song, every happy thought, and every prayer. His letters sound like he never left... he's the same old goofball, just wearing a suit and tie. In one of the letters he wrote me, he said this:
"I'll often receive guidance and answers to prayers in the very scripture I read. The cool part? The answers are YOU. I can't stop finding you in my patriarchal blessing, scriptures that once had absolutely no meaning to me, it's you :). I'm so indescribably happy that I was blessed with you... I LOVE YOU MCKENSIE. We were made for each other since before time began. I'm so happy you're mine and that i'm yours and that I get to spend my life and my eternity with you."
In a way, we're still with each other. He's always on my mind, and I know i'm on his too. I've finally figured out why the last goodbye was so easy: this is the last one. This is the final stretch, the last two years I'll ever have to be away from him. :) Heavenly Father has blessed both of us so much because we're spending this time away from each other. I've had angels sent to comfort me, I have no doubt about that. I am so blessed to have my sweet Jake, and I'm so grateful that he chose to serve a mission. Heavenly Father is teaching me so much about his love through Jake. I'll forever be grateful for that boy. :)
Side note:
If anyone is ever contemplating serving a mission because of a boyfriend or girlfriend, GO. I promise you, it's worth it. The blessings you'll receive because of it are incredible. You'll both have trials, but you'll be able to get through them together. Don't be discouraged about leaving someone behind -- it's only two years. It may seem long, but it's the Lord's timing, and if we choose to trust in it, he will bless us beyond measure. And from my experience so far, it's going pretty dang fast. Go on a mission. Trust in the Lord's timing, because He ALWAYS knows what's best for us. :)
Monday, March 10, 2014
WATCH THIS :)
Okay, since I've been getting a lot of new readers lately, I wanted to put this video on here. If you don't know my story, watch this. it'll sum it up in 3 minutes. :)
http://youtube.com/watch?v=XCI0Jw_Tu_E
Sweetest letter I've ever gotten ❤️
Okay I know I've been posting A LOT of what Jake writes lately, but he is the sweetest and writes the most amazing things. So here's yet another cheesy letter from him.
I love Mondays so so much because I get to email Jake for a couple of minutes in the morning. Those minutes are always the happiest. :):) This week was extra sweet. He said:
"My dear sweet Mckensie,
Words cannot explain what I feel what I feel for you, my precious girl. You are absolutely everything to me, my love, my heart, my dearest princess. I love and cherish you more than life itself, and I would be an absolute mess if you weren't part of my life. Every day with out you, my heart longs more and more for you, but I know that this is the last time we have to be away from each other. Separation is temporary, but you and I are forever, no matter what. I admire you for who you are. For your strength, determination, spirituality, happy attitude, and everything that makes up who you are (I could go into details about everything that makes up who you are but that would be an infinite, never ending email, I'm not joking). Don't you ever forget that you are my sweet girl, you are everything near and dear to my heart, you give me a whole new reason to breathe and to be happy. You saved me. Kinda like Alma the Younger, "I was in the darkest abyss," and then my beautiful, perfect Mckensie comes along and pulls me out. My Kensington is more than just a pretty, talented, funny island girl. She's my angel, my hero. She saved me and continues to save me every day. She took a broken, sad, lost version of me, and fixed every shattered part, bandaged up every wound, loved every security, insecurity, issue, and imperfection that was in my power to possess and she turned me into the best person I could possibly be. She makes my mind race and my heart stop. She showed me a love that God knew I needed. One of the reasons I know so well of God and Christ's love for me, is because my sweet girl showed me just how much she truly cares, and how much they care."
He's amazing, I'm blessed, end of story.
Saturday, March 8, 2014
The First Time We Met
Okay I was reading through the journal Jake gave me before he left and I CAN'T STOP SMILING.
He was writing about the first time we ever met when I surprised him at temple square. And it was pretty much the cutest/funniest thing I've ever read.
"I heard some quick footsteps on the walkway behind me and before I knew it, someone was hugging me from behind. Caught completely off guard, I looked at who was behind me. I heard a quiet, excited giggle from whomever it was, a giggle I recognized from months of calling and FaceTime, and then I looked over my shoulder where I saw a head of long, dark hair, a forehead, and a pair of hazy green eyes looking back up at me. "No. No way." I said. There was no way that the girl I had gone completely insane for, the girl of my dreams who I fell head over heels for was standing right behind me. I broke free of her embrace, a little scared to turn around to see if it was really her or not, but I had to look. I turned around where my eyes met hers, to see that my Mckensie Anna was standing right there looking at me with a great big smile on her face. I had already started to choke up when I first thought it could be her. Now that I was looking straight at her I couldn't hold it anymore. I wrapped her tight in my arms and buried my head into her shoulder as I started to cry a little bit. I couldn't believe I was actually holding her and that she was with me. I never wanted to let go of her. After what felt like hours, I finally pulled away, looked right into her eyes and told her I loved her and kissed her. All in front of her dad. It kinda made me feel like a Bad-A, but not really because she made me cry. We stayed at temple square for a bit and took some more pictures of us. I even hugged her dad. I kinda felt like hugging the whole world because I was so happy."
Hahahahaha he's so cute. I love him.
He was writing about the first time we ever met when I surprised him at temple square. And it was pretty much the cutest/funniest thing I've ever read.
"I heard some quick footsteps on the walkway behind me and before I knew it, someone was hugging me from behind. Caught completely off guard, I looked at who was behind me. I heard a quiet, excited giggle from whomever it was, a giggle I recognized from months of calling and FaceTime, and then I looked over my shoulder where I saw a head of long, dark hair, a forehead, and a pair of hazy green eyes looking back up at me. "No. No way." I said. There was no way that the girl I had gone completely insane for, the girl of my dreams who I fell head over heels for was standing right behind me. I broke free of her embrace, a little scared to turn around to see if it was really her or not, but I had to look. I turned around where my eyes met hers, to see that my Mckensie Anna was standing right there looking at me with a great big smile on her face. I had already started to choke up when I first thought it could be her. Now that I was looking straight at her I couldn't hold it anymore. I wrapped her tight in my arms and buried my head into her shoulder as I started to cry a little bit. I couldn't believe I was actually holding her and that she was with me. I never wanted to let go of her. After what felt like hours, I finally pulled away, looked right into her eyes and told her I loved her and kissed her. All in front of her dad. It kinda made me feel like a Bad-A, but not really because she made me cry. We stayed at temple square for a bit and took some more pictures of us. I even hugged her dad. I kinda felt like hugging the whole world because I was so happy."
Hahahahaha he's so cute. I love him.
Thursday, March 6, 2014
Why Wait?
"It's TWO YEARS. Do you really think you could possibly wait that long?"
This is an example of a question I get asked daily about why I'm waiting for a missionary.
Let me explain something. If Jake was just a guy I thought was cute, or someone who it MIGHT work with, I wouldn't be waiting for him.
No, actually, Jake is THE guy. I've been hooked on him since the first time we talked, and I couldn't possibly let go. Now that I know what it's like to be loved unconditionally by someone I love unconditionally back, I never want to throw that away. I love every single thing about Jake. To put it simply, I just don't want to be with anybody else for the rest of eternity.
But if that's not enough for you, let me take you back to the moment I decided to wait.
December 27th, 2013
Jake took me to temple square today. We went on a double date with Taylor and his lady and Eric fifth wheeled with us. It was so much fun. :) I was having such a good time with my friends and was so in love with Jake. He took me to see the dizzy tree and bought me hot chocolate and he held my hand like he was proud of it. I was so happy to be with him.
About an hour into our date Jake started to seem a little uneasy. He pulled me to the side and asked me if he could talk to me for a minute. I agreed eagerly, hoping to figure out what was wrong. We left our friends, and Jake led me to this beautiful, secluded spot right next to the visitors center. He turned me to face him, grabbed both of my hands in his, and looked me in the eyes (I absolutely love it when he does that). He said, "Mckensie, I need you to know something. I am so madly in love with you, and that's why I need to do this." Then I felt him slip something on my finger. I looked down and saw the most beautiful ring sitting on my left hand. "WHAT??" I gasped. I grabbed his face and looked into both his eyes to see if he was serious. He smiled his perfect little smile and pulled me in close and kissed me. When he pulled away he said, "Mckensie, I never want to spend a day of my life without you, but I'm about to go serve the Lord for two years. I want you to know that I will come back for you. I will, I promise you. You are the only thing I want in life. I promise to love you unconditionally until the end of time and beyond. I promise you that my heart will always be yours. I will forever treat you like a princess, because thats what you are. Heavenly Father trusted me with his little girl and I will not let him down. I'm going to come back in two years and propose to you for real, then marry your face off and keep you forever. I love you, Mckensie Anna, and this is my promise to you."
I teared up and was lost for words. This was the last thing I had expected... but I realized it was the only thing I had wanted. I couldn't be with anyone else. Jake and I had something that very few people are lucky enough to have -- unconditional, perfect, true love. There's no way I would let him go. Not now, not in two years, not ever.
"Jake." I stepped back so he could see me clearly. "Now I need to tell you a few things." I made him sit down on a bench with me, then grabbed his hands again. "I promise you I'm going to wait. I love you so much, I couldn't possibly do anything else. I promise you to always love you and to stay strong. I'm not going anywhere. I love you so much." I hugged him tight, kissed his cheeks, then kissed him right on the mouth.
We sat on that bench and laughed together and held hands. I couldn't believe how overjoyed I was. We were really going to be together forever. I was so amazed at the fact that I had such an incredible boyfriend, and how it had all come together. I know Heavenly Father had a plan for us from the start, and I'm excited to see what the future holds. :)"
This is an example of a question I get asked daily about why I'm waiting for a missionary.
Let me explain something. If Jake was just a guy I thought was cute, or someone who it MIGHT work with, I wouldn't be waiting for him.
No, actually, Jake is THE guy. I've been hooked on him since the first time we talked, and I couldn't possibly let go. Now that I know what it's like to be loved unconditionally by someone I love unconditionally back, I never want to throw that away. I love every single thing about Jake. To put it simply, I just don't want to be with anybody else for the rest of eternity.
But if that's not enough for you, let me take you back to the moment I decided to wait.
December 27th, 2013
Jake took me to temple square today. We went on a double date with Taylor and his lady and Eric fifth wheeled with us. It was so much fun. :) I was having such a good time with my friends and was so in love with Jake. He took me to see the dizzy tree and bought me hot chocolate and he held my hand like he was proud of it. I was so happy to be with him.
About an hour into our date Jake started to seem a little uneasy. He pulled me to the side and asked me if he could talk to me for a minute. I agreed eagerly, hoping to figure out what was wrong. We left our friends, and Jake led me to this beautiful, secluded spot right next to the visitors center. He turned me to face him, grabbed both of my hands in his, and looked me in the eyes (I absolutely love it when he does that). He said, "Mckensie, I need you to know something. I am so madly in love with you, and that's why I need to do this." Then I felt him slip something on my finger. I looked down and saw the most beautiful ring sitting on my left hand. "WHAT??" I gasped. I grabbed his face and looked into both his eyes to see if he was serious. He smiled his perfect little smile and pulled me in close and kissed me. When he pulled away he said, "Mckensie, I never want to spend a day of my life without you, but I'm about to go serve the Lord for two years. I want you to know that I will come back for you. I will, I promise you. You are the only thing I want in life. I promise to love you unconditionally until the end of time and beyond. I promise you that my heart will always be yours. I will forever treat you like a princess, because thats what you are. Heavenly Father trusted me with his little girl and I will not let him down. I'm going to come back in two years and propose to you for real, then marry your face off and keep you forever. I love you, Mckensie Anna, and this is my promise to you."
I teared up and was lost for words. This was the last thing I had expected... but I realized it was the only thing I had wanted. I couldn't be with anyone else. Jake and I had something that very few people are lucky enough to have -- unconditional, perfect, true love. There's no way I would let him go. Not now, not in two years, not ever.
"Jake." I stepped back so he could see me clearly. "Now I need to tell you a few things." I made him sit down on a bench with me, then grabbed his hands again. "I promise you I'm going to wait. I love you so much, I couldn't possibly do anything else. I promise you to always love you and to stay strong. I'm not going anywhere. I love you so much." I hugged him tight, kissed his cheeks, then kissed him right on the mouth.
We sat on that bench and laughed together and held hands. I couldn't believe how overjoyed I was. We were really going to be together forever. I was so amazed at the fact that I had such an incredible boyfriend, and how it had all come together. I know Heavenly Father had a plan for us from the start, and I'm excited to see what the future holds. :)"
That's why I will wait. I'm waiting because I'm absolutely in love with him. I'm waiting because I can't imagine a day in my life without him. I'm waiting because true love can make it through anything. I love him so so soooo much. :)
Sunday, March 2, 2014
Today, you were here.
Today, Jake was with me. Maybe not physically, but he was here comforting me. I wrote to him:
Dear Jake,
I had a huge presentation this morning. I've been working for seven months on this project, and this presentation decided if I would pass the project. This presentation decided if all my hard work was worth it or not. I would present to a board of judges who would grade me with a very strict grading scale and I had to dress in "business attire" and all that jazz. Translation: this was very serious and I was extremely nervous.
I've been rehearsing all week. I've gone over my presentation countless times, and my poor dad has heard different versions of it all week long. Basically, I thought I had it down, and that I had perfected it -- but when I got there this morning, my mind blanked.
We were given five minutes to go in and set up. I walked into the room in my oh-so-sophisticated outfit with my hair pulled back so I wouldn't play with it. I hooked up my laptop to the projector, and my screensaver was projected onto the screen -- it's that picture of us sitting on a bench.
Dear Jake,
I had a huge presentation this morning. I've been working for seven months on this project, and this presentation decided if I would pass the project. This presentation decided if all my hard work was worth it or not. I would present to a board of judges who would grade me with a very strict grading scale and I had to dress in "business attire" and all that jazz. Translation: this was very serious and I was extremely nervous.
I've been rehearsing all week. I've gone over my presentation countless times, and my poor dad has heard different versions of it all week long. Basically, I thought I had it down, and that I had perfected it -- but when I got there this morning, my mind blanked.
We were given five minutes to go in and set up. I walked into the room in my oh-so-sophisticated outfit with my hair pulled back so I wouldn't play with it. I hooked up my laptop to the projector, and my screensaver was projected onto the screen -- it's that picture of us sitting on a bench.
My back was turned to the screen, so I didn't even know it was up there until I heard various awww's and whistles from my student audience.
I didn't know I could turn such a dark shade of red.
There I am, standing in a room full of people I'm trying to impress. I no longer look so sophisticated with my red face and my typical-teenage-girl wallpaper. I was feeling so unprepared despite my countless hours of both rehearsing and praying.
One of the judges said, "You have ten minutes. You may begin when you're ready." But I wasn't ready. I was nervous. I was humiliated. I wanted a hug. I wanted you.
And that's when it came to me. "Pretend like he's here," I thought. "Pretend like Jake's up here with you holding your hand."
I started to talk. I forgot everything I was nervous about. I just spoke as calmly as I would have if you were there. And you WERE. You were there the whole time, whispering to me that it would be alright, it was just a presentation, and I could do it.
Jake, I passed with flying colors. Seriously, I have never had anything go so smoothly for me. My presentation was great, and I was calm. And it was all because of you. Heavenly Father comforted me with thoughts of you, and i'm sure He knew what He was doing.
I have this theory. I believe that at some point in our lives, we all come in contact with angels. Those angels can be Heavenly messengers, personages of light, or people sent to help us. My angel just happens to be a six-foot, curly-haired wonderful boy who comforts me more than I ever thought was possible. I love you so much Jake. So much. Thanks for being there even when you couldn't be. I love you infinitely. :)
Love, yours always, Mckensie
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)